So, Looks Like I Found A Job

FAO SCHWARZ FIFTH AVENUE SEEKS HAPPY, HELPFUL WORKERS WHO WOULD LIKE TO WORK IN THE BRAND NEW MUPPET WHATNOT WORKSHOP BEGINNING OCTOBER 2008.

WHAT'S A WHATNOT YOU SAY? WHATNOTS ARE THOSE ZANY-LOOKING EXTRAS YOU SEE IN THE MIDDLE OF EVERY MUPPET PRODUCTION!
AND FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, THE MUPPETS ARE INVITING THEIR FANS TO CREATE THEIR VERY OWN WHATNOT PUPPET, RIGHT INSIDE THE WORKSHOP AT FAO SCHWARZ.

LOYAL MUPPET FANS - AMATEUR PUPPETEERS - PUPPET COLLECTORS - HERE'S A CHANCE TO WORK IN A FUNKY, CREATIVE ENVIRONMENT HAVING SOME SERIOUS FUN.

DEMONSTRATE YOUR AMAZING ABILITIES AS YOU GREET PEOPLE, SELL GREAT STUFF AND ACTUALLY BUILD PUPPETS. CLIMB LADDERS! OPERATE A GLUE GUN! PERFORM THE BASIC SKILLS OF PUPPETEERING! NO TWO DAYS WILL EVER BE ALIKE IN THE MUPPET WHATNOT WORKSHOP!




Note: I will not be applying for this job

Minerva, Goddess of Wisdom

This is Minerva, the Roman goddess of wisdom. Some of you might know her better by her Greek name, Athena. Minerva stands at the top of the highest point in Brooklyn, known as "Battle Hill" in Green-wood Cemetery, right down the street from where I'm staying.

If you scroll down to the next picture, you might be able to make out the Statue of Liberty in the distance. Minerva is saluting the statue from Battle Hill. Some jackass tried to build an apartment building that blocked the two sisters, but thankfully somebody put a stop to that.

Now, this may be shocking, but it turns out that Battle Hill garnered its name because it was once the site of a major battle. Strange, but true. The first battle of the Revolutionary War, The Battle of Brooklyn, took place here. It is alternately known as the Battle of Long Island for those of you that give 2 craps.

During the Battle of Brooklyn, Washington, in his first military action as commander of the Continental Army, led 10,000 stout man to repulse the British invasion of New York. Unfortunately, the British had over 3 times as many soldiers and roundly kicked Washington's ass. Never fear, Americans, because our hearty commander led one of the bravest retreats in military history. According to the sign I saw, at least.

So, the goddess of Wisdom now stands in the spot to commemorate Washington getting knocked around by the British.

Somebody just confiscated my flag pin.

Many thanks to Mark for the amazing tour of the cemetery and 3/4 of the information in this post. I assure you, he presented it with much more grace and aplomb than my sarcastic, childish writing.

What Happens in Prague Stays in Prague

The view from my friends' apartment.

I could have definitely done a lot worse.

Notes from travel:

• Ryan Air just made my enemies list. They literally took every last dollar in my bank account to ship my luggage over.
• Guinness really is better in Ireland, even at the airport.
  
• Also, boxing is much better in Ireland, especially when you're watching it with gnarled old Irishmen drinking Guinness.
• No turbulence at all on my flight, but I managed to sit between two 35-year old men that needed some Ritalin. I thought there was a 5 year old kid behind me until halfway through the flight.
• "What Happens In Vegas Stays In Vegas" was the in-flight movie. Hi-larious. It seems that Ashton and Cameron accidentally get married in Vegas while drunk! OMG! And they're sentenced to try to make the marriage work by an wacky judge! Hilarity most definitely ensued, let me tell you. I don't want to ruin the ending, but let's just say things got a little misty. They should have called it "There Will Be Tears"
  

Tramspotting

Today has been my last day in Prague.

Last night I hung out with my Slovakian roommate, his Australian buddy, the first and only Czech golf pro (who we met at a Mexican restaurant), and a Brazilian guy, who the Australian had met the night before at a hostel in Croatia. The Brazilian fellow comes from Polish stock. His parents tried to emigrate to San Francisco, but after booking a ship to said city, they found themselves in San Francisco, Brazil by mistake and figured "what the hell..."

Today I wandered around and did my two favorite things in Prague. The first one sadly involves negotiating the droning crowds of people on the Charles Bridge. About halfway across the Valtava, it becomes quite worth it.
This is the "Bridge Band", a collection of fellows that play Dixieland on the bridge all day long most of the week. There's a trumpet, saxophone, tuba, washboard, banjo, and this old guy with a beard that mutters in Czech through an old brass megaphone. Despite the tourists, I'm a big fan of spending an afternoon sitting on the bridge in the hot sun and listening to these guys play.















My other favorite activity is riding and watching Trams. I haven't written about these before, but the streets are rife with them. In certain spots along the river you can watch Trams crossing multiple bridges, slinking their way up hills surrounding the city, or chasing the river down the banks. My favorite place to watch Trams, though, is a street in Mala Strana called Letenska. There is a building that stretches over the street and creates a tunnel, and the Trams, which barely seem to be able to navigate the space between buildings, pass through regularly. Most of the trams I catch to and from various parts of the city seem to pass through here, and it never gets old, whether I'm walking along the avenue or riding in a tram.



























It always seems a litte bit like a family theme park to me, only old, European and actually enjoyable.

You still have to stand in line, though.

Tomorrow morning I make for Dublin, and if all goes well I'll enjoy an hour or so in the city en route to New York.

Siamese Twins

Cat food or candy bar?

I still don't know. But either way I don't see how conjoined-twin cats are going to help sell a product.

New York in the NYC of Time

So it's official. I leave for New York City on Friday.

I'm sure that's a surprise to some of you, so let me summarize.

My hours at work were cut, I looked at my finances and budget, totaled the cost and process for a visa, and came to the conclusion that staying Prague would be incredibly stupid.

My choice basically came down to borrowing a great deal of money to stick around, which I might possibly not be able to pay within a year (dumb), live and work illegally in the Czech Republic (dumber) or cut and run. So I'm running.

I'm definitely not happy about it, but New York will be nice. I already have two job interviews ready to set up when I arrive. I have awesome friends there and a good support network. And it's New York for chrissake.

I'm not certain how long I'll be there, but let's just play it by ear.

As for Prague, it's a lovely city, I miss it already. I'll be trying to spend my last few days here in as grand a style as possible.

Unfortunately, because of rising prices and the new Schengen Zone regulation, it seems that Prague is no longer the welcoming city for non-EU citizens to teach English that it once was. Within a year I predict that it will no longer be possible for an American without a EU passport to teach there. That's how bad it's gotten this quickly.

So, there's the news. Expect to hear more as the week goes on.

Much love to Gabe for the assistance out of this joint, and to all in New York lookin' out for me. Or really, everyone who has been looking out for me.

Liver n' Onions

When I behaved badly as a child, my Dad would threaten us with liver and onion.

"If you don't behave, you're going to be eating live and onions for a week".

I had no idea what live and onions tasted like, but from his tone of voice I had a feeling I didn't want to find out.

This afternoon, I walked around the city a bit and ended up at my local. I was watching a Premier League game (Chelsea vs. Someone Crappy That Chelsea Tore Apart By The 15th Minute) and thought I'd have a bite to eat. I perused the badly translated English menu, and thought I'd try the first thing on the recommended list because it looked new and interesting, like something I had never tried.

I ended up with a giant, thin potato pancake, with a little cheese cooked in, folded like an omelet and filled with.....liver and onions.

Now, I saw both the words "liver" and "onions" in the description, but they didn't seem so close together. Maybe there would be some liver involved, and perhaps, on another portion of the plate, some onions would repose, but it never entered my mind that I was ordering them together.

Well, I'm in a different country, right? So I thought "what the hell" and figured it'd be good, or at least interesting.

It turns out there's a reason my dad threatened me with that dish.

Chic-Choc

Man, I've got a mean hunger for something sweet. What could possibly satisfy my craving?

Snickers?
Milky Way?
Mr. Goodbar?

The only thing that can satisfy this kind of hunger is Chic-Choc















Warning: Chic-Choc may taste like a crappy Twix bar.

I'm not kidding, this place is becoming really expensive

Bad news for chuckleheads like me. Prague is becoming much more expensive very quickly. According to this article, Prague was the 49th most expensive city to live in last year. This year it's risen to #29. It's really not that far away from New York anymore, which clocks in at #22. Prague is even more expensive than Lagos these days. Stupid Lagos.

Now I don't feel so bad for spending the last week more or less cooped up inside my apartment trying my best to avoid spending money.

That would explain the lack of fascinating blog entries. I know you've all been waiting with bated breath to hear more of my antics. Unfortunately, all you get is my whining about the cost of living.

Good news though. I start work on Monday morning, 7:30 AM. My first class will be 4 upper-intermediate students that hate participating. Their last teacher informed me that they spend a lot of time just staring at you.

At least it's only an hour.

Monday's my busy day. Two 60 minute classes and two 90 minute classes. The 90 minute ones are an hour outside of town, in podunk nowhere, nearly halfway to Pilsen.

At least I'll be making koruna, baby, mad koruna.